The Hard Side of Sharing the News

After I used to cry when I found out other couples were pregnant I always told myself that when/if I got pregnant I would make up for that sadness by shouting it out to the world. It would finally be my turn right?

As we have been slowly letting people in on the news I've paid close attention to their reactions. For example, I told a few ladies together the other day and I got mixed responses.

First was from a lady who is done having kids. I could tell she was so very excited for me.

The second was a girl my age who is married, but doesn't have kids yet. She said it was the best news she'd heard and said I was going to be a great mother (that warmed my heart). I could tell she was genuinely happy for me.

Third was another girl my age and married. She was more unexpressed and said a simple congratulations and that was it. It reminded me of myself months ago. Is she baby hungry? Is she suffering through infertility? Did I just rub salt into a wound? She's merely an acquaintance so maybe I'm just looking into it too much.

How can I be so overwhelmed with joy for finally becoming pregnant when there's so many others struggling? I want to say it's not fair, but at the same time I fought my war against infertility. After many battles I finally came out the winner. 

I'm so torn. I know I can't expect everyone to be happy for me, but it breaks my heart when I can tell that they're not. It's been an interesting situation I'm trying to navigate.

Any suggestions on what to do?

7 Weeks - We graduated from our fertility clinic!

As of yesterday, I'm officially 7 weeks pregnant! We still haven't told our families and are debating when we will. We just want to be sure since there have been miscarriages in my family. They have no clue what we've been going through. They don't even know we've been trying forever. My mom will have a heart attack. Poor lady. Then she'll freak out and want to live with us to help take care of the twins.

A week or two ago I thought I was already starting to see a bump, but turns out I was bloated from my ovaries still being gigantic from retrieval. This past week has actually been great nausea wise. We ordered pizza twice which is so unlike me. In case you're wondering, Domino's will always hands down win my heart. Their crust is dreamy.

So the reason why I'm so happy right now is because we had our last appointment this morning at our fertility clinic! I'm so happy we don't have to go there anymore, but I will miss all the wonderful people there that helped us through this trial. Andddddd we saw and HEARD both heartbeats today! When my doctor inserted the ultrasound I only saw one sac and my heart started to sink, but he adjusted it a little and there they were! Both with precious fluttering hearts. Next thing we know we are hearing them! I wasn't expecting that. Baby A and Baby B (what they will be going by for the rest of my pregnancy) are the right size and their heartbeats are working as fast as they should be. I totally had a proud momma moment. Yes, I was proud of their heartbeats. What else can you be proud of when they're so tiny? Our ears were ringing with congratulations as we left. I was also able to donate some very expensive unused injectables and tons of needles I had leftover. I'm thankful they can be used to help another couple in need. 

We Graduated!!!

 My next appointment will be just after my 9 week mark with my obstetrician. I finally get a girl doctor! Although I don't even care who sees what anymore.
 
And I finally got a chalkboard! Or rather, I made one from a cork board. I absolutly love it. You'll see my bump updates with it soon! Speaking of updates here's the latest:

How far along? 7 Weeks 
Babies are the size of: Blueberries!
Total weight gain: Up 10lbs since treatments began (doctor's orders) then I lost 2lbs since pregnancy. 
Maternity clothes? No. 
Stretch marks? No. 
Sleep: I've been having some sweet dreams. Sleep is getting better too. 
Exercise: Eh, the occasional walk...I need to be better.
Miss Anything: I miss eating avocados...I still don't like them.
Movement: Nope! 
Food cravings: Pink Starbursts and shepherd's pie.  
Anything making you queasy or sick: Avocados, almond butter...the list is getting shorter.
Labor Signs: No. 
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy happy happy.
Looking forward to: Telling our families once we decide the time is right. I have to speak so carefully when I'm around them.

It is such a blessing to see God's hands in all this. Infertility has certainly tested my faith and endurance, but the blessings I've seen so far have all been worth the wait. I still can't believe I'm going to be a mom!

Check out our babies!

Their heartbeats!

Ten Tips for IVF

They're a bit random, but here are some things I did during my IVF that helped things go smoother, as well as some things I wish I would have known beforehand. 

1. Get an electric heating pad. You will never want to take it off! It's great to help with the cramping after egg retrieval and also nice after the embryo transfer.

2. Try to relax and keep your retrieval and transfer week free. I still went to work, but I sit all day at a desk. Just take it easy, take deep breaths, and try to relax.

3. Before doing your injections, push and pull the syringe several times to make it less stiff. It will help the injection go in more smoothly.

4. Document everything. Whether it's a journal, blog, or keeping all your medical documents in a folder. You can use what you saved to help others, or to use again for reference.

5. Stay away from the infertility forums. Maybe this tip isn't for you, but I learned my lesson back in November with my first IUI. I was constantly checking an infertility board on Baby Center and it stressed me out more than it helped. If you need someone to talk to, this leads me to my next tip...

6. Confide in a friend. Whether everyone knows or nobody knows, find a friend you can confide in and discuss all the details with. It's a huge relief to just talk things over with someone you can trust. You can talk to me too! 

7. Download an app to remind you to take your medications. I used the app, MediSafe, and it gives me reminders to take my vitamins/meds/injections at the appropriate time of day.

8. If doing injections make you nervous, play a happy song! I frequently listened to "Happy" from Despicable Me 2. It helped make the situation more light and -can you believe it- fun.

9. Think happy thoughts! Just thinking positively or repeating affirmations can positively affect your attitude. By just saying phrases like "My body is healthy," and "I can carry a baby," you will start to believe yourself and your body will too. 

10. Try to schedule your transfer early in the morning. You need to go in with a full bladder to straighten your uterus and make the ultrasound visibly better. I woke up in the morning and went straight to my appointment without using the bathroom. Yes, it was uncomfortable, but I didn't have to worry about drinking a ton of water, and my bladder was so nice and full it gave my doctor a straight shot for transferring those precious embryos. 

Bonus: If you have any remaining embryos that you plan to freeze, make sure you are fully aware of when they plan on freezing them and what the odds are of them surviving until the freeze so you get no surprises. I was unaware they were doing an extended culture to six days. I was shocked to get a call saying 2 of our embryos didn't last and just 1 was viable for freezing. 

I hope these help! Let me know if you have any great tips by commenting below.

6 Weeks

It's crazy to think I'm already 6 weeks! Twins usually come early so I could be having them in just 30 weeks from now. What?! I have been searching everywhere to buy or make a chalkboard and I have had zero luck. It's all I wanted for my birthday, so I'm not giving up. Yes, I want to follow the popular chalkboard pregnancy updates...they're cute ok?! Until I find/make one I just have this: 

How far along? 6 Weeks 
Baby is the size of a: They're the size of peas with hearts the size of a poppy seed! 
Total weight gain: I don't know...I need to buy a scale! 
Maternity clothes? No. 
Stretch marks? No. 
Sleep: I toss and turn all night and I'm so tired when I wake up. 
Exercise: We go for a walk every now and then. I definitely need to step it up, but I just haven't been feeling well enough to do anything moderate. 
Miss Anything: I miss not being nauseous. 
Movement: Nope! 
Food cravings: Lasagna, pizza, and soup.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Vegetables, carrots, eggs, avocados, almond butter, oatmeal, salad, pretty much everything I used to eat regularly. 
Labor Signs: No. 
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy with a side of tired. 
Looking forward to: Our ultrasound next week...can't wait to see those heartbeats.

This week I've felt the worst so far. I think I'm doing great compared to some of the other early pregnancy symptoms I've heard women experience though. I feel constantly nauseated unless I'm chewing food. The worst part is nothing is coming out of me and that makes me the most miserable. My body doesn't even know how to throw up. BLAH. Really, I can't and shouldn't complain, but I'm pregnant so I do what I want ;) 

I have to add, when I found out we were pregnant with twins I was freaked out. I looked at all these bellies I found online of women before they went into labor and they were huge. How is my tiny little body going to handle two even tinier little bodies? I've pretty much decided I will look like a blimp and my last few weeks of pregnancy my social life will be me hiding at home hanging out with Hulu. I couldn't stop thinking about the stretch marks and the doughy post-pregnancy tummy. I was scared and even though I knew twins were possible, it wasn't in my "plan". It took a little while but I can now say the shock is over. Plus wouldn't it be better to carry two in just 9 months verses the 18 months it would take to carry them separately? I am SO excited this is actually happening. I can't wait to see my children grow up together and have that special twin bond no one else can experience. I'm excited for the giggles and playing. Of course there's things I'm not looking forward to (diapers, the expenses, non-stop nursing for two...), but why focus on that?

On Monday I had a day of denial: How am I going to do this? Can I do this? I'm not going to be good enough...

On Tuesday I had a day of complete excitement: I couldn't stop thinking about twins and how much fun it will be. Bring on the crazy! I daydreamed what life would be like.

Today, Wednesday, I have been scared out of my mind: I blame it on Google. I read stories of women that had vanishing twin syndrome even up to 13 weeks. Will I ever feel like my babies are "safe"? Everyday I will worry one will be lost, but everyday I will be praying they are both healthy and growing. Now that I've truly accepted the fact I'm having twins I want them more than ever.  

1 + 3 = 4

Today Chris and I went to our doctor appointment to see our Itty Bitty Ivie for the first time! The ultrasound probe went in and BAM there's my left ovary. Nothing exciting there. Shift over to my uterus and there they are. Yes, they. 

We definitely knew it was a good possibility, and my HCG levels were so high, but I would often just dismiss the idea. 

TWINS.

Yes, we are having twins.

Twins!

They will be fraternal of course, so I am wishing for a boy and a girl. I can dream right? Two boys would be too mischievous and two girls would be too dramatic. A boy and a girl would be perfect. 

I can't even focus at work right now. I keep thinking about everything in twos. And about Italian food. 

My brain at the moment:

Two cribs, two car seats, two swings, where will all this fit? What are the odds of me getting a c-section? Will I be HUGE? Will I ever not be nursing? What are the genders? What will we name them? Them?! I'm having two? TWO. Two babies. Babies! I will become a diaper ninja. What is my family going to say? How will we celebrate their birthdays? Can we afford two? I'm hungry. I want lasagna! And brownies. 
Wait, I'm pregnant? 

As I have demonstrated, I am shocked and still trying to grasp the idea that I am actually (and finally) pregnant. Right now I am 5 weeks and 2 days along. I'll be setting a 7 weeks appointment to see the heartbeats and check on their growth. My doctor said there's about an 80% chance both babies will continue to develop. That's actually higher than I thought, but of course we are keeping catuious hearts since things can still happen in these early stages. We saw both gestational and yolk sacs and they are right at the size they should be. So far everything looks great! 

I am so happy that God is trusting us with not just one, but two of his precious children. As overwhelming as having twins is already, it is such an immense blessing. I'd rather have my hands full than empty.

I don't have an official diagnosis. There's so many different hormones that don't work right in my body that I might not be able to find a solution to fix all my problems. I may or may not have to use assisted reproductive technology for the rest of my pregnancies. That is what makes getting two this pregnancy even more of a blessing. There has been so much to be thankful for all throughout these many months of trying! I can't wait to start our family.

I'm going to have to change the name of my blog! We're not talking singular any more!

And to think, Chris wanted to try and get three embryos in me...

Results...

After waiting ALL day for my blood test results when it should have only been a couple hours, I finally got the call! I was so nervous that I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, I made myself sick. I even had to remind myself to breathe sometimes. I was obviously freaking out. So much was weighing on this call and the result could change our lives. Well, a nurse finally called me close to 6pm and...

 




















Normally they like to see hCG levels around at least 100 mlU/mL and mine was at 1305! She said I was "good and pregnant." I honestly didn't know what to say because I was so shocked. I'm still shocked. After so many failures you get used to it. To have a positive result is unreal! She told me congratulations and I had to process what for. Was a truly pregnant? After I got of the phone I cried and cried and prayed. I am so thankful. 

Chris was half asleep when he found out. His response was a hazy, "That's awesome." Poor guy is still heavily drugged. I thought when I woke up the next morning it would feel more real, but it's still so hard for me to believe. We are SO excited though! I have an appointment next week to do a 5 weeks ultrasound to see the gestational sac(s) which should determine if we have twins or not. Can you believe this? I still can't!

Tomorrow's the Day!

Tomorrow is the big day! I couldn't be more nervous and excited. My blood test is tomorrow morning, so we should know the results by the afternoon. Chris had knee surgery last week so we will both be home for the call since I've been working from home to help take care of him. I honestly have no idea how I'm going to react either way. It will still be shock if this actually works since nothing ever seems to go right in my body. I'm so tempted to just take a pregnancy test, but I'm too nervous! Wouldn't be amazing if I actually was pregnant with twins?! I'm sure it would be a complete shock with the amount of work taking care of two babies, but it would be so wonderful to see them learn, play, and grow together. I love all the YouTube videos of twin babies talking to each other and being each other's partners in crime. I can see the messes already.

The two week wait has actually flown by. Taking care of Chris certainly has helped pass the time. Plus all we do is watch House and StarWars as he recovers.Unfortunately they were only able to do a bone graft this time instead of fixing the ACL too, so he'll have to have surgery again this summer. Poor guy.

I'm not sure if I'm having early pregnancy symptoms or if it's a result of all my medications. Some of them are definitely not worth mentioning on the Internet. I have been tired a lot and my sleep has been awful. Waking up a ton, tossing and turning, dreams, then a night will come where I will sleep straight through. My appetite has been awful too. I'm either not hungry or I just want sweets. I can't stand the thought of carrots, almonds, lettuce, avocado and eggs (which I normally eat a lot), basically anything healthy. I made us salads the other night and I couldn't eat mine. Maybe it's from the Metformin though. 

Do you see what I did there? I try to convince myself of other possibilities because I'm so nervous that I'm not pregnant. Where would we go from here? IVF is a huge deal and I don't want to do it again this soon. I'm getting tired of keeping this a secret, but we still don't want to tell everyone what's been going on until we are good and pregnant. 

Now I'm just rambling because I'm nervous. I'm sure if this is what God wants for us, He will make it happen. I guess we will know tomorrow!

Rolling With The Punches...At Least Trying

The two week wait is already starting to take its toll. Just the day after transfer the roller coaster started. Ups and downs, highs and lows, hope and fear. 

I got an unexpected call last night. The woman on the other end was one of the embryologists.

"Good news! One of your embryos lasted through the extended culture and is ready for cryopreservation. You have one great looking embryo for freezing!"

Wait. What? One? 

"Just one made it? The other two didn't last?"

"The other two didn't make it, but the one you have looks great!" 

This seemed to rehearsed. Her cheerful tone was her trying to make up for the fact we lost two embryos. I was dumbfounded and the phone call ended. Chris could hear the conversation and immediately got upset. I just didn't understand.

What extended culture? I thought they froze them on Saturday? Weren't they going to freeze all three of them? You mean to tell me we just paid well over a thousand dollars out of pocket to just freeze one little embryo? Why did they extend the culture? No one told me they were doing that?

My mind was moving a mile a minute, but was stunned and slow at the same time. What just happened? Chris started asking me all these questions that I didn't know the answer to. I couldn't contain the tears. 

All that work just for three embryos? Two transferred fresh and just one that has a 50% chance of making it through the thaw for a frozen transfer? I felt doomed. Doomed that I would have to do this all again. The blood tests, the ultrasounds, the medications, the shots, the surgery. Doomed that there isn't enough left in our infertility benefit for another full IVF. 

How did we go from 19 to 10 to 9 to just 3? Why do I have to go through this? I'm too young. This isn't fair. I was supposed to have 3. That could be at least 2 more transfers, not just one with an undesirable chance of survival. 

All this was like a flash, and then it occurred to me. 

"Chris, it doesn't matter how many we have frozen, what matters is the two that are already inside me." 

I have never wanted twins more in my life. 

The Bachelor was about to start and I had already made plans to watch it with my neighbor. I dried my tears, covered my face with my glasses, took a deep breath, went over and pretended everything was fine. 

I couldn't sleep last night. I couldn't sleep this morning. I can't stop praying. I need this to work. My heart broke a little with the news last night. I can't handle anymore heart break. 

Please give us twins. If not, please just one.

Embryo Transfer!

Saturday was the BIG day! I am blown away at how far we've come.

We arrived at the clinic at 8:30am Saturday morning with my bladder very full. They ask you to come with a full bladder because it helps straighten the uterus and visually helps through abdominal ultrasound because water helps with ultrasound waves. TMI, but I never peed when I got up that morning, so I really had to go! 

First we met with a nurse and signed some papers. From the sounds of it everything has been going by the textbook. Usually by day 5, half of the embryos are too poor quality to keep for freezing. With transferring the 2 that day, we would only have 3 leftover for cryopreservation. Good thing is that those three were all good quality and should be great for future frozen transfers.

The nurse offered me Valium and I almost said yes, but for the wrong reasons (I'm hilarious on it). I'd heard that transfers are similar to an IUI so I knew I could handle the pain. Plus I wanted to be coherent during the procedure. This time Chris got to join me in the OR. I got to put on my sexy grown, hat, and booties, and Chris got a ravishing yellow cover, complete with booties, hat, and mask. What's with the mean face Chris?

When we went into the OR we had to wait for awhile, so we got to chat with one of the Medical Assistants and get to know her better. I was cozy with warm blankets and my husband's hand holding mine. It was also very cool because they had a TV screen showing the view through our embryologist's microscope in the next room over. It was amazing to see him prepping our little embryos. He introduced himself as our "babysitter" and that they've been doing great! He also kept calling them our little babies. I thought that was funny because I figured the embryologist would be more technical in his terms. I loved it though.

Eventually our doctor came in and got everything ready which included the dreaded speculum. That thing was just hanging out in my you know what for a good 20 minutes. I've lost count how many times I've had to encounter that evil device. But I didn't even care this time, I was too excited. They have to handle things very carefully and have a set of keywords to know when the doctor and embryologist are ready and are transferring the catheter with our two precious little embryos, or what I like to call our little "embies". I actually didn't even realize when he inserted the catheter and released the embryos, I was that relaxed! Sometimes you can see a little speck pushed through the catheter into the uterus on the ultrasound, but I missed it. The embryologist then checked the catheter to ensure both got out. Everything looked good, so they had me rest for a little while and then sent us on our way.

We went home and took it easy the rest of the day per doctor's orders. I felt bad because it was my brother's birthday and we had to miss his family dinner. The next morning I had exerted myself a little too much, so now I'm really paying attention to my body and making sure I'm relaxed as possible. I'm still on several medications and have added in progesterone and Cabergoline. The Metformin still makes me sick, but I just taking it all in stride.

And the best part of all this? We got a picture! It might sound weird to love a bunch of cells, but I do. I love them for their potential. Their potential to make us parents and give us not just one, but maybe even two very desired children, and to fulfill our dream of starting a family.

Babies first picture?

We are just so excited and truly hope it works this time. Knowing I have two precious embryos inside me is just so surreal. I can't tell you how overjoyed I will be if I become pregnant! It's strange to think that if all this works out, technically I will be three weeks pregnant tomorrow. What?! It's weird because I'm not pregnant, but by the way it is measured I would be three weeks pregnant at this point. 

Implantation should happen within the next few days. Praying and having faith is all we can do at this point, and boy are we praying!

See the sucker in his mouth? That's his favorite part of going to the doctor with me!

 

Embryo Report #2

It still blows my mind how fast everything has gone. Disneyland seems like forever ago, but we've only been home two and a half weeks since we were there! 
Times files when you're on drugs ;)
Fertility drugs that is. 

Today we got our day 3 embryo report. When I answered the phone the nurse almost sounded remorseful. Of course my heart started racing and I assumed the worse. She then went on to give me the report and it wasn't bad at all! One of our embryos was even graded as excellent which is pretty rare. Grading systems vary from clinic to clinic and are always subjective. The embryo grading does not tell us what is going on inside the embryo genetically, so even a poor embryo could develop into a successful pregnancy and a good embryo might not. The grading system does help to determine which embryos they will want to transfer and which they will want to freeze.You'll notice that we lost one, which is normal, but we still have 9 embryos and that is awesome. They like to see around 8 cells on day three.

I organized them by grade and then by number of cells.

 Day 3 embryos are called clevage stage embryos. They are called this because they are dividing (also known as cleaving, hence the name), but they are not growing at this stage. I heard it explained like a pizza. When you slice it, you get more pieces, but the pizza does not get larger. The cells divide and the genetic material duplicates, but the volume of the embryo is no different than the volume of an unfertilized egg.

Here's what an 8 cell embryo looks like:

Can you believe that a bunch of little cells grow into a living, breathing, human? I've seriously learned more through our infertility than I did in all my science/biology classes combined. There's such a difference when it directly applies to you.

I still don't have any symptoms of OHSS, thank goodness. Hopefully I'm in the clear. I'm still super bloated to the point that I actually look pregnant, but it's slowly going away. Most of my pain comes at night which is strange, but at least I eventually fall back asleep. Transfer is still set for Saturday morning...can't wait!

Embryo Report

I have been anxious ALL day to get a call from my clinic. We find out how many eggs were fertilized today! It's incredible the technology available to allow in vitro fertilization.

I remember telling Chris yesterday that I would be elated if we got 10 fertilized. I thought that would be the perfect number. 

Well my phone finally rang. I was nervous and excited. Here's the news!

I got my perfect number! We are anticipating a day 5 blastocyst transfer for Saturday morning! I am so excited! So far I haven't had any symptoms of OHSS (Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrom) which is very very good. If I do happen to get OHSS (I'm at risk of it due to very high estrogen levels) they would want to freeze all the embryos and do a frozen transfer at a later time. I am praying my heart out that I do not get OHSS because I simply can't wait any longer. I want a kid this year please! Unfortunately not all embryos make it and some may die. I should be getting a call this Thursday with another report. We are just continuing to be watched over! So many precious miracles already.

Egg Retrieval

Instead of being scared out of my wits, I've been really excited for egg retrieval day. Chris and I have been watching the show House a lot and I just love learning about the body and different medical procedures. So I was somewhat thrilled about having surgery and "going under" since it's something I've never experienced before. 

I think if I could sum up the surgery in one word it would probably be "awesome". How often does someone think surgery is awesome? Perhaps it's because I feel one step closer to our end goal. (And recovery isn't terrible). 

We got to the clinic at 8:30 and went back into a private consult room. Chris left to go do his part (collection) and a nurse took me back to get changed into a very stylish gown, blue booties, and a sexy cap.

Pre-Surgery

Then they brought me into the OR and had me lay down with some warm blankets. The anesthetist poked and prodded until he finally found a vein for my IV. He was cracking jokes the whole time and said the vein on my neck looked very inviting. No thanks! Then the embryologist came in and introduced herself. She acted like she just drank about 20 cups of coffee. The anesthetist told me he was starting the IV and that I should feel calm. I asked if that was the stuff that would put me out and he said he would administer that soon. Next thing I knew I was a giggling mess in a different room and in a different bed. I immediately realized what happened and told Chris, "That was the coolest thing ever!" Still groggy and giggly, a nurse came in and said they got 19 eggs.

"19! 19! Chris, 19? That's so cool! 19!" I was high. And elated. Chris said that the doctor already told him and that he sounded pretty excited about the success. I've heard of people getting more, but I didn't expect I would have 19 eggs worth retrieving.  

Apparently at one point I said, "I could do this everyday if I didn't have to go to work!" Obviously the pain medicine hadn't worn off yet. 

I then went on about how the anesthetist was a liar and put me out earlier than I was expecting. I thought I would have to count down like they do in the movies. I still can't get over how cool it was. The nurse gave me a heating pad which helped with the intense cramping. She also brought us apple juice and bunny crackers which further elevated my super excited high state.The nurse went over some things with me and helped me to stand and see if I was good to go home. Shortly after I got changed and Chris helped me walk out to the car. I just laid on the couch the rest of the day. It wasn't too painful, just a lot of cramping and back pain. 

Post-Surgery

Chris had to work that afternoon since end of month is always really crazy. Ashley would check on me every now and then and our wonderful Primary President brought us dinner. It definitely put my cooking to shame. Probably the best chicken enchiladas we've ever had. 

Well now it's the day after and I'm doing really good. I haven't even taken pain killers today. I went to work and took it easy. The heating pad Ashley let me borrow is probably my favorite thing in the world right now.

The hCG shot and other meds, plus the huge amount of bloating from the surgery has really messed with my digestive system. I'm either nauseous or craving things. Seriously, all I can think about right now is ice cream.

Ice cream...

Blood Draws

I had to give blood both Saturday and Sunday which meant my favorite phlebotomist wasn't there, so I got to be poked around by about 4 different people. And they ran out of heat packs so the gave me a glove filled with hot water. I love my veins...Fifth time's the charm right?

My "I'm getting sick of this" look

Egg retrival is set for tomorrow morning at 9!

A Day in the Life of an IVF Patient

7 am, the usual morning line up...

Chug down the pills and swollow then start to clean!

Can you tell we've been listening to Disney songs a lot? :)

I thought I would share my oh so fun daily routine of being an IVF patient.

Here is my daily line up of pills/vitamins/injections that start at 7am, how fitting!

7:00am - Synthroid for hypothyroidism.

8:30am - Dr. Appointment: Estradiol blood draw and ultrasound to check follicle sizes

10:00am - Co-Q 10 vitamins and Vitamin D. My doctor wants me on Co-Q 10 for egg quality and Vitamin D since most women have a deficiency.

10:45am - Metformin. Makes me feel nauseous. Hate it!

5:00pm - Call from Dr. with adjusted doses for my injections based on my estradiol levels and to set an appointment for the next day. 

6:00pm - Round two of Co-Q 10, Prenatal vitamin, and extra Folic Acid

9:15pm - 1 injection of FSH (follicle stimulating hormone), 1 injection of Low-dose hCG (human chorionic gonadotropin), and 1 injection of Cetrotide to prevent early ovulation

9:30 - Round two of Metformin. Ugh. It's the Devil's pill.

 Repeat the next day!

When I was doing my IUIs I was so stressed about just 1 shot every couple days. Now I'm taking all sorts of pills and doing 3 injections a day and I'm not stressed at all! If this is what I have to do, I do it! It takes hard work to achieve your dreams.

On another note, I sat down at work this morning and was surprised because I can tell my ovaries are stretching. They are growing WAY more follicles than normal so it feels like I've got two tennis balls inside me. We will see how big my little follies are at my appointment later today! Everyday is a day closer to retrieval and I am so excited.

IVF - This is happening!

On Monday I had a phone appointment with my Reproductive Endocrinologist. We went over my past treatments and made a plan for IVF. Since I've been on birth control the past 3 weeks it shortened the treatment plan by three weeks and I get to start medications today. I had a 2 hour appointment yesterday for another ultrasound, blood work (6 vials this time, yuck), urine sample, and to sign a ton of paperwork which also included paper work for freezing the embryos. Unfortunately insurance doesn't cover freezing so I had to write a huge check in advance. I will be going to the doctor numerous times this coming week. I already have more blood work for Friday and Chris is having blood work and a Kruger test to have a closer look at his sperm morphology on Saturday. The test looks at the shape of his sperm to see if they're developing properly. If a man has a decreased number of normally shaped sperm on the Kruger analysis, he is at risk of fertilization failure or lower rates of fertilization. Then I have more blood work and an ultrasound on Sunday. That appointment will determine next weeks appointments and how many more ultrasounds I will have. It sounds like they will be every other day since it's extremely important to monitor the growth of the follicles. 

If a man has a decreased number of normally shaped sperm on the Krueger strict morphology analysis, he is at risk of fertilization failure or at least low rates of fertilization. - See more at: http://www.babymed.com/male-infertility/sperm-morphology-kruger-sperm-function-test#sthash.ovotEWTi.dpuf

If a man has a decreased number of normally shaped sperm on the Krueger strict morphology analysis, he is at risk of fertilization failure or at least low rates of fertilization. - See more at: http://www.babymed.com/male-infertility/sperm-morphology-kruger-sperm-function-test#sthash.ovotEWTi.dpuf

I'm actually not nervous at all. Even though I will be starting multiple medications, injections, and going to numerous appointments, I am SO excited. I really feel like we are being guided right now and that Heavenly Father is watching out for us. I've been feeling his calming love so much. I literally feel like I am being carried. My heart is full.