Weekend Rollar Coaster

Well, I'm back at it again! I started Femara last Thursday and had a baseline ultrasound on Friday. My doctor wanted to check my cyst to see if it's causing any problems, as well as lay out the plan for this month and get some blood work. Thankfully the cyst is just chilling there, so it shouldn't be a problem. I'm doing the same thing again this month but they're increasing the dosage for my FSH injections to 150 units and will monitor my progesterone after my IUI. They think the increased dosage of FSH will also increase my progesterone after ovulation. So my doctor appointment went well and we have a plan for January.

On Saturday I called Freedom Fertility Pharmacy to refill my injectables that I needed to start taking on Monday. They have overnight shipping so I thought it would be fine. We met up with some friends from school at the nickle arcade where the boys played and the girls talked. Of course having kids was brought up and I acted like I've hardly thought about it. That's always my response. It's sort of my defense mechanism. Only a couple people know what we're going through and I want it to stay that way. But while we were chatting I noticed I had a voicemail from the pharmacy. I went out to the car and called them back. Unfortunately they didn't have good news. My insurance is no longer covering my FSH injections and I would need to pay hundreds of dollars for them. Also, because of this, they were unable to send my injections which meant I wouldn't get them in time. The poor guy on the phone had to listen to me cry and beg him to help me. I had no notification of insurance changes and I felt doomed. All I could do was wait until Monday to talked to my insurance because the pharmacy was closing. 

Chris came and found me while I bawled all over him. He's the best. He always knows what to do. Needless to say, I cried for a long time. I felt hopeless.

Sunday I cried even more. I don't know if it was because I will still upset about my insurance or if it was because we were prayerfully fasting again that we could be blessed with a child. We felt the spirit strongly with us and it gave me new hope. 

Monday I was ready for battle. I checked with my insurance to see if there were any other brands that they covered for FSH and thankfully they covered two others. All day I was stepping out of the office to take phone calls and get everything sorted out. After about a dozen calls, my doctor wrote a new prescription for my FSH and I set up delivery for my new Gonal-f injections. I wouldn't receive an injection in time for that night, so my clinic generously donated some Bravelle to me so that I would have some. That's worth some big $$$ they donated. I love my clinic. I was surely being watched over. 

Want to know the best thing I learned from all this? I changed my perspective. Instead of getting angry and asking WHY did this happen? I said to myself, hey maybe this is God's way of getting involved because he knows I will respond better to this new kind of injection than the one I had before. 

I'm feeling good. I know I'm being watched over. Round three of injections: commence!

Ultrasound and hCG Trigger Shot

On Saturday I had my follicular ultrasound. My follicles were still a bit too small, so my doctor had me do a forth FSH injection. He said the follicles grow about 2mm a day, so he set my IUI for Wednesday morning. I'm excited and nervous! Although I've learned by now that I should stop being nervous because every time I am it turns out to not be a big deal at all. 

Oh boy, now I'm bringing in the big guns!

Last night I took the hCG trigger shot. hCG (human chorionic gonadotropin) is a hormone that is used to aid in the follicle maturation process and stimulate egg release. Typically women ovulate around 36 hours after the injection. That puts me at exactly 9am Wednesday morning, the exact time I'm getting the IUI. Timing is very important since eggs only typically live for 24 hours.

On another note, we are doing well. I have slowly been putting up Christmas decorations (yeah, yeah, yeah, you probably think it's too soon...) and we have been addicted to the new show Reign. Life is good and we are enjoying our time together! 

FSH Injections

Needles. Terrify. Me. 

No bueno.

Everyday I watched my Dad inject himself with insulin and it would make me shudder. I prayed I never would get diabetes and have to do the same. I should have also prayed I would never have to take anything else that required stabbing a needle into my stomach. 

When my package arrived with my injections I was overwhelmed and scared to death. I couldn't get over the 1 1/2 inch needles that were included in the box. I thought I was going to have to use those needles until I figured out I only had to use the 1/2 inch needles. Thank goodness! The box contained enough for three 113 unit injections of Bravelle (Follicle Stimulating Hormone). 

Fun fact: Bravelle comes from human urine. Thank you kind donors for sharing your pee with me. 

The package also had my trigger shot for my IUI. The trigger shot is a ginormous dose of hCG that triggers ovulation. Since I don't ovulate on my own this will certainly be necessary. 

(Sorry about the bad picture...my hands were shaking from being so nervous!)

Last night I did my first Bravelle injection. After tears and loving support from my husband I began the process. I had to mix three bottles of the Bravelle with the sodium chloride to get an amount concentrated enough for my dosage. And then I just did it. I stabbed the needle in my stomach and pushed in the plunger and took it out. I felt like a druggie. I freaked when I saw a small amount left in the syringe and stabbed myself again fearing I didn't get enough in. That probably wasn't smart, but I'm still alive. 

I'm not trying to make light of this situation, but joking about it helps me cope. 

All in all was it that bad? No. Was it worth the tears and anxiety? Not really. Now I know the next injection tomorrow will be fine and I shouldn't have to worry. But seriously though...needles are not cool.

The things I will do for an Itty Bitty Ivie!