Weekend Rollar Coaster

Well, I'm back at it again! I started Femara last Thursday and had a baseline ultrasound on Friday. My doctor wanted to check my cyst to see if it's causing any problems, as well as lay out the plan for this month and get some blood work. Thankfully the cyst is just chilling there, so it shouldn't be a problem. I'm doing the same thing again this month but they're increasing the dosage for my FSH injections to 150 units and will monitor my progesterone after my IUI. They think the increased dosage of FSH will also increase my progesterone after ovulation. So my doctor appointment went well and we have a plan for January.

On Saturday I called Freedom Fertility Pharmacy to refill my injectables that I needed to start taking on Monday. They have overnight shipping so I thought it would be fine. We met up with some friends from school at the nickle arcade where the boys played and the girls talked. Of course having kids was brought up and I acted like I've hardly thought about it. That's always my response. It's sort of my defense mechanism. Only a couple people know what we're going through and I want it to stay that way. But while we were chatting I noticed I had a voicemail from the pharmacy. I went out to the car and called them back. Unfortunately they didn't have good news. My insurance is no longer covering my FSH injections and I would need to pay hundreds of dollars for them. Also, because of this, they were unable to send my injections which meant I wouldn't get them in time. The poor guy on the phone had to listen to me cry and beg him to help me. I had no notification of insurance changes and I felt doomed. All I could do was wait until Monday to talked to my insurance because the pharmacy was closing. 

Chris came and found me while I bawled all over him. He's the best. He always knows what to do. Needless to say, I cried for a long time. I felt hopeless.

Sunday I cried even more. I don't know if it was because I will still upset about my insurance or if it was because we were prayerfully fasting again that we could be blessed with a child. We felt the spirit strongly with us and it gave me new hope. 

Monday I was ready for battle. I checked with my insurance to see if there were any other brands that they covered for FSH and thankfully they covered two others. All day I was stepping out of the office to take phone calls and get everything sorted out. After about a dozen calls, my doctor wrote a new prescription for my FSH and I set up delivery for my new Gonal-f injections. I wouldn't receive an injection in time for that night, so my clinic generously donated some Bravelle to me so that I would have some. That's worth some big $$$ they donated. I love my clinic. I was surely being watched over. 

Want to know the best thing I learned from all this? I changed my perspective. Instead of getting angry and asking WHY did this happen? I said to myself, hey maybe this is God's way of getting involved because he knows I will respond better to this new kind of injection than the one I had before. 

I'm feeling good. I know I'm being watched over. Round three of injections: commence!

Try Try Again

I came out of my IUI with small hope. I didn't want to get excited in fear that the it wouldn't work.

But of course I started to have hope, lots of it. Chris too. He was getting excited. I think the pregnancy hormones from the trigger shot started to confuse me into believing this was actually happening. That the procedure worked and we would announce wonderful news to our families come Christmas. But in one moment it's all dashed when you realize you started your period. It came only nine short days after my IUI. Typically it should be about 14 days. We were in California for Thanksgiving with family so I had to hold my all emotions in. I told Chris before bed and I let out silent deep tears. Being around family was probably a good thing because I had to try and act like everything was okay. I think that helped my attitude in moving on.

I wasn't planning on trying in December so we could enjoy the holidays, but everything happened so fast and soon that I decided to go through it all again. Thankfully I will be in another two week wait for Christmas and won't need to see the doctor during that time.

I called our reproductive center and told them the news and asked what we should do this time. We are doing the same treatments as November, so I will be taking Femara and the injections again with the IUI. We know a lot more coming into it this time around so hopefully that will help.

Honestly, it's hard to not to wonder why my Heavenly Father isn't allowing this to happen. I beg and plead with him and hope he will give us a miracle. I have always had a hard time being patient. When I know I want something, I want it now. So perhaps He is trying to teach me patience. The teacher is always silent during a test. Even through the temptations to rebel against hope, I will fight back and hope that much harder.

Back to the drawing board - Month 2 Plan!

Month One...No Luck

I feel so much for the couples that go through years of treatment without success. 

Their strength makes them my heros. 

Last month I had 10 straight days where I used ovulation prediction tests and every time, first thing is the morning, I received a negative. Not exactly the best way to start my day! Before I thought negative pregnancy tests felt bad, but I won't even get to the point of a pregnancy test again if I keep getting negative ovulation tests! I didn't really think this would happen since everything else was going great. When cycle day 21 came without a positive ovulation test I went in for a progesterone blood draw. (They only had to poke me once this time!) The progesterone was very low and confirmed I did not ovulate. 
So the Femara alone didn't work.

On a good note though, my hypothyroidism is under control! After 4 weeks of synthroid my thyroid is it a 2.4. Perfect! I still have some good days and bad days when it comes to my energy, but I can tell the synthroid is working. 

That was a hard week, but next month is another opportunity, so I'm keeping my chin up!

(I would like to add that our kids are going to look freaking adorable)

Timeline Update

A lot has happened since first meeting our doctor. I've been trying to play catch up since we started treatment over a month ago, but this blog is only a week old! Here's a timeline update: 

September 19th: First appointment with our fertility doctor. 

September 20th: My blood work came back and I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. I started taking Prometrium to induce a period.

September 25th: Had further blood tests, thyroid exam (found nothing wrong) and was prescribed 50mcg of Synthroid a day. I will probably be taking it for the rest of my life. 

September 26th: Met with my gynecologist and got her up to date. Free Prenatal vitamins, yay!

October 3rd: After taking the Prometrium for 10 days my period started just three days later. 

October 5th: Went to the doctor for blood work and a follicular ultrasound. Everything looked great! Except my bladder was so full in preparation for the blood work that he couldn't see anything until I emptied it. I came back and my bladder was in the shape of a heart so he gave me an ultrasound picture for kicks and giggles. I got blood work done for an OAR, Anti-Mullerian Hormone, and TSH for my thyroid. My thyroid went down quite a bit which is great! Also my Ovarian Assessment Report came back and it was like I got straight A's! We're in the clear there. I also started taking 5mg of Femara today.

October 9th: Finished taking Femara. I didn't experience any side effects thankfully.

October 11th: The dreaded HSG! My next post will have all the details.

That's a wrap! Just keeping it positive :)