It's crazy to think I'm already 6 weeks! Twins usually come early so I could be having them in just 30 weeks from now. What?!
I have been searching everywhere to buy or make a chalkboard and I have had zero luck. It's all I wanted for my birthday, so I'm not giving up. Yes, I want to follow the popular chalkboard pregnancy updates...they're cute ok?! Until I find/make one I just have this:
How far along? 6 Weeks
Baby is the size of a: They're the size of peas with hearts the size of a poppy seed!
Total weight gain: I don't know...I need to buy a scale!
Maternity clothes? No.
Stretch marks? No.
Sleep: I toss and turn all night and I'm so tired when I wake up.
Exercise: We go for a walk every now and then. I definitely need to step it up, but I just haven't been feeling well enough to do anything moderate.
Miss Anything: I miss not being nauseous.
Movement: Nope!
Food cravings: Lasagna, pizza, and soup.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Vegetables, carrots, eggs, avocados, almond butter, oatmeal, salad, pretty much everything I used to eat regularly.
Labor Signs: No.
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy with a side of tired.
Looking forward to: Our ultrasound next week...can't wait to see those heartbeats.
This week I've felt the worst so far. I think I'm doing great compared to some of the other early pregnancy symptoms I've heard women experience though. I feel constantly nauseated unless I'm chewing food. The worst part is nothing is coming out of me and that makes me the most miserable. My body doesn't even know how to throw up. BLAH. Really, I can't and shouldn't complain, but I'm pregnant so I do what I want ;)
I have to add, when I found out we were pregnant with twins I was freaked out. I looked at all these bellies I found online of women before they went into labor and they were huge. How is my tiny little body going to handle two even tinier little bodies? I've pretty much decided I will look like a blimp and my last few weeks of pregnancy my social life will be me hiding at home hanging out with Hulu. I couldn't stop thinking about the stretch marks and the doughy post-pregnancy tummy. I was scared and even though I knew twins were possible, it wasn't in my "plan". It took a little while but I can now say the shock is over. Plus wouldn't it be better to carry two in just 9 months verses the 18 months it would take to carry them separately? I am SO excited this is actually happening. I can't wait to see my children grow up together and have that special twin bond no one else can experience. I'm excited for the giggles and playing. Of course there's things I'm not looking forward to (diapers, the expenses, non-stop nursing for two...), but why focus on that?
On Monday I had a day of denial: How am I going to do this? Can I do this? I'm not going to be good enough...
On Tuesday I had a day of complete excitement: I couldn't stop thinking about twins and how much fun it will be. Bring on the crazy! I daydreamed what life would be like.
Today, Wednesday, I have been scared out of my mind: I blame it on Google. I read stories of women that had vanishing twin syndrome even up to 13 weeks. Will I ever feel like my babies are "safe"? Everyday I will worry one will be lost, but everyday I will be praying they are both healthy and growing. Now that I've truly accepted the fact I'm having twins I want them more than ever.
Congratulations on your pregnancy! Thanks so much for sharing your journey here. I stumbled across your blog this morning and I'm so glad I found it! I just read through the entire thing and I could relate in so many ways to your infertility experiences. I'm so excited for you that things are working out for you. It gives me hope to see what you've gone through and it's just so good to know that I'm not the only one. I'm LDS too and in my early 20s, and it's been hard finding others to relate to, especially when so many people we know are getting pregnant easily or without even trying. (I totally know what you meant in one post where you talked about having to step away from facebook!) My husband and I have been trying for a baby for 18 months now with no luck, after stopping birth control more than two years ago. We don't have any answers yet and are only just starting to get more tests done to see if we can figure it out. It's been such a lonely and frustrating and sad experience for us. Anyway, just wanted to say thanks for being willing to put this out here! It's so helpful for me to read experiences like yours, and it's especially helpful to see your strength and faith through it all. Praying for you and your two little ones!
ReplyDeleteThank you Rebecca! That is exactly why I wanted to write this blog, to give women struggling through this hard battle hope. Infertility is such a hard trial, but my testimony has strengthened so much and I've seen so many blessings come from it. I hope you and your husband find the answers you are looking for and hope that it isn't anything complicated. If you ever need to confide in someone or have questions please contact me. I would love to hear about your journey. You are not alone and there is always hope.
DeleteSending prayers your way!