As we have been slowly letting people in on the news I've paid close attention to their reactions. For example, I told a few ladies together the other day and I got mixed responses.
First was from a lady who is done having kids. I could tell she was so very excited for me.
The second was a girl my age who is married, but doesn't have kids yet. She said it was the best news she'd heard and said I was going to be a great mother (that warmed my heart). I could tell she was genuinely happy for me.
Third was another girl my age and married. She was more unexpressed and said a simple congratulations and that was it. It reminded me of myself months ago. Is she baby hungry? Is she suffering through infertility? Did I just rub salt into a wound? She's merely an acquaintance so maybe I'm just looking into it too much.
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How can I be so overwhelmed with joy for finally becoming pregnant when there's so many others struggling? I want to say it's not fair, but at the same time I fought my war against infertility. After many battles I finally came out the winner. I'm so torn. I know I can't expect everyone to be happy for me, but it breaks my heart when I can tell that they're not. It's been an interesting situation I'm trying to navigate.
Any suggestions on what to do?
I know that in addition to everyone else's stories that may color how they respond to you, there are also so many different types of personalities, and some people just find it harder to outwardly express emotion to others. This person may be one of those people.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, I can completely understand the thought that maybe she's having problems and it was hard for her to hear that from you. I don't know how well this would go over, but just an idea would be to print out some simple cards (like, business card sized) that say something like "my journey to pregnancy was difficult, please ask me about it" (but probably in different words) and if you see that someone has that type of reaction, find a time when you can slip that card to them. That is a way to open yourself and your story up to others who may be going through the same thing but feeling alone.
In the end, though, you did fight your own battle and you should not feel hesitant to tell anybody about your news. If you feel that somebody has an odd reaction, it opens up a good opportunity to offer support.
That's exactly the situation I am currently in. I'm almost 11 weeks pregnant and am so nervous to share our news publicly. We were very open with our struggles through both of our blogs and have since just said nothing. I hate the idea of announcing because I know how it feels.. :(
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