Monday, January 27, 2014

Just a little update

Well I am halfway through my birth control. Yay! Since I have a progesterone deficiency, all the extra estrogen in the birth control is reeking havoc on me. At least I'm not crazy fact I haven't cried in days! For me, that is quite the accomplishment. Deactivating my Facebook was an excellent decision and I don't miss it at all. Stupid news feed.

Chris and I went and played in the mountains last week. We got some Subway to go and went up Big Cottonwood Canyon where the inversion doesn't plague the beauty there. The sky was so blue! It was fun to get away and enjoy the nature.

I've been feeling really great (minus the fact that I have a nasty head cold right now). I am focusing on the positives and replacing the "ifs" and "whys" with "when" and "how." There's a couple books I found at the library that are full of information and are helping me become happier through this trial. I will have an ultrasound next week to see if my ovary has recovered and if I'm good to continue on. I plan on asking them about IVF and my options there. I think I will try one more IUI and if that fails we will move on to IVF. The idea was scary to me, but after a lot of research I feel more comfortable about it. Now it's just an issue of insurance and if my doctor thinks I'm a good candidate.

I found this video the other day and if you don't want to get emotional, I suggest skipping it. The video beautifully shows the raw emotions that people with infertility face. The tears, the daydreaming, the silence, the shame. We have a spare bedroom in our apartment just waiting to become a nursery. Sometimes I sit in there and just envision what that room will hopefully some day become. I feel so heartbroken for older couples that are just starting their trial through infertility or learn they cannot have children at all. I am so thankful that we started this early on and for the medical advances that bring us hope. 

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