I was thinking today about how grumpy I've been and how I really should post some things I'm thankful for. And then I got bad news. And I cried. In the bathroom. At work. Like a baby. Because I want a baby.
But then I thought about how this would be a good opportunity for me to look for the good in something bad.
|I'm going to start naming that thing... ;)|
1. Wait until my next period...which would never happen on my own.
2. Take birth control pills for three weeks then wait for a period to come from it.
I've never taken birth control pills in my life. So I didn't like the idea at first, but then I knew I'd be waiting months for a period to come on it's own. I decided on the lesser of the two bummer options and will be taking birth control for the next three weeks. I cried after hanging up because it meant another month of waiting. That evil word snuck up on me again...WHY? But then I excused the word and starting looking for the positives and what I am thankful for.
I am thankful for the chance to have a short break from doctor appointments, blood draws, pills, injections, and stress of it all to let my body rest.
I am thankful that I can take the birth control pills because they will help "reset" my hormones and help me get in check for next time.
I am thankful for this time that I can focus on becoming one with my body and de-stress.
I am thankful for this time where I can focus solely on my husband and not have the distractions from infertility treatments.
I have been really sensitive to news about new pregnancies so I have also deactivated Facebook. It's just too much for me, so I'm choosing to take a break from all that until I am strong enough to take it without sinking into a dark place. Again, I am thankful for this short break and plan to make the most of it. I want to focus more on my husband, and things I like doing like singing, baking, photography, enjoying the outdoors, reading, and exercising.
I have two goals for these next 4 weeks:
1. To go more than a day without crying...yes I am serious.
2. To do as much as I possibly can with my husband, however big or small the adventures may be.
Here's to a happy 4 weeks!