After we got home from the hospital I was so emotional that I would cry every night as I would sing to them and think about how fast they're going to grow up. Have you heard Taylor Swift's song "Never Grow Up"? Yeah don't sing that to your newborns if you don't want waterfalls coming out of your eyes. After giving birth your hormones go crazy. Luckily I was never a "crazy pregnant lady" nor was I crazy after birth. I just cried A LOT. Not sad tears, HAPPY tears! I was so happy to be holding my babies after everything we went through to get pregnant. I would cry and cry because I just loved them so much.
Chris was extremely fortunate to have a two week paternity leave. We stayed at home all day and just held our little ones. We didn't have to worry about anything. Chris and I simply got to enjoy our babies all day for two whole weeks. I refer to this as the "honeymoon" stage because everything was simple, magical, and full of love. Plus sleep deprivation hadn't hit us yet.
Then life hits.
After Chris returned to work every weekday since has been challenging. Nothing can prepare you for twins, especially when you're home alone with them all day. The hardest thing for me is choosing one baby's need over the other's because you can't tend to them at the same time. Then if you have a need at the same time as both babies you're in for it! I recall one night almost peeing my pants because my hands were full with the twins. Or I would forget to eat until the afternoon because I'm constantly feeding them instead. I'm learning how hard it is to try and take care of myself when I'm trying to take care of two newborns. I've had to place squeezing in a meal as a high priority otherwise I'm too busy and forget to eat, which is bad because I'm literally skin and bone right now. I lost 30lbs in two weeks, much to the concern of my doctor. I am constantly hungry because of breastfeeding/pumping but I'm not gaining any weight. Thankfully that's not the case for Boston and Lyla. They have been gaining the necessary weight like champs.
It's completely true when you think you'll raise your kids a certain way and then you have them and realize that was only wishful thinking. Take for example sleeping arrangements. We have a pack 'n play with a bassinet top for their bed. Well, they HATE it. To them it's an awful prison that only gives them reason to cry. So now we co-sleep in our king size bed...something that terrifies me and thought I would never do. We've finally found an arrangement as safe as possible for them and it works a million times better because they love sleeping on our bed. You'll do anything for a few extra minutes of sleep, trust me.
I've learned a lot this past month:
- Nothing can prepare you for twins. Nothing.
- Get them on a schedule! I finally got them on a good schedule around 3 weeks. It will save your life. It's advised to feed on demand, but with twins it just doesn't work that way.
- Have your husband take as many days off work as possible after they're born. Having Chris home was not only extremely helpful, but it was wonderful family bonding time.
- Accept meals like crazy. When I felt like I was done recovering it seemed silly to accept meals, but then I tried cooking dinner with two little babies. It's impossible by yourself. Accept those meals! (Huge thank you to everyone that brought us dinner!)
- Breastfeeding can be super stressful, but you can do it. I'll be writing a post about this later.
- You will feel like you will never leave the house again. I finally insisted on a date night even though I was super reluctant to leave my babies. It was exactly what I needed to realize life will turn back to normal...eventually.
- No other babies are as cute as your own.
- Your heart will love like it's never loved before. Not only has my heart grown exponentially for these babies each passing day, but it also grows each day for my husband as I watch him be a daddy.
- Having twins is the most difficult BEST job in the world!
Anyway, I'm frantically searching for the pause button. Anyone seen it? These babies are growing too fast and I need to stop time.